Tuesday, December 30, 2008

Welcome to 2009


Well now is the time to make all those nasty New Year's resolutions. Well I am make one. I vow to not make another New Year's resolution again. No more promises to lose weight, no more promises to give up something for lent, I am hoping to take care of all of that this year with my surgery.

Well the reality of it has hit full. I have my initial appointment with the surgeon. It will be February 12, at 8:00 AM. Lincoln's Birthday. How ironic. The only thing that will keep this from becoming a reality is if my A-Whole former doctor did not send enough of my records to my new dr in July. My insurance company requires at least a five year history with medical back-up of morbid obesity. I know I can pass that with flying colors, but if the idiot I used to see, did not send enough documentation I am dead in the water.

I have my second weight-loss appointment with my PCP on Jan. 14, 2009, and my third on Feb. 10, 2009. That will put me three appointments down out of the 6 I need. I have also started my three month food journal that is required of all the patients in PA

I think what I have been concentrating on the most these last couple weeks is getting in as much of the holiday food as possible. I won't be able to do Christmas Cookies, or pies, or fudge next year. I will also not be able to eat all those snacky foods.

This will be my last year ringing in the New Year with a Margarita. Maybe one day I will be able to enjoy a beer or mixed drink, but not in the near future. It is a really good think I love Milk (I would for a dairy, I must love milk) and I really love water. No flavoring needed.

Friday, December 12, 2008

The Sleep Test

OK, I am exhausted. Last night was my Sleep Apnea test. But let me tell you, I have two of the craziest, sweetest, nicest friends you can imagine. They were STALKING me last night. When I got to the Hamot Heart Institute, which is where my sleep test was, there they were. In Emily's car, just waiting for me. They are too funny. Well they waited with me until the girls who work in the center came down. Emily even brought me some reading material. A book on weight-loss surgery.

Well, I got into the center shortly before 8:30 PM. They showed me the room I would be doing my test in. It was cute, small, but cute. The room had a TV, a double bed and nice-sized bathroom. No counter space though in the bathroom. I needed to change into my night clothes and get ready for the big wiring.

Well Melissa, the girl who was my attendant for the evening, came in and started to wire me up. She drew lines on my face, my head, and my chest. Then started to attach these probes to me. I am beginning to understand why Frankenstein was so angry all the time. By the time she was done, I had a wire protruding from almost every part of my body. I was surprised they did not put one on my bum.

My question: How am I supposed to sleep with these all over me? That was not the end. Then she put this thing up my nose, that tickled like you would not believe. I kept sneezing it out. See even my nose does not want it. She ended up taping to my face. Time for bed. I had to have one of the heart monitor thingies on my finger, and then I could sleep. Again, How?

Well after a series of tests to make sure I was hooked up properly, it was beddie bye time. I laid down and tried, I will emphasize, TRIED to go to sleep. Yea right like that was going to happen. Well apparently it did. I actually slept. According to Melissa, a whole 2 hours. From 10:00PM to when I left at 5:30 AM, I got 2 hours of sleep. Real sleep. I hit REM for 2 hours. But I was in and out enough to get the required 6 hours for the study.

I could not wait to get home and get this goo off me. Then it was off to work. Well after washing the hair twice, and scrubbing like crazy, I still had remnants of the test all over me. And a nice rash developing where all the tape was. Joy. But it is over and the test results were negative. One more thing done that needed done for the surgery.

Now bring on my appointment. Which is scheduled. So this is really going to happen.

Tuesday, December 9, 2008

Have you ever had one of those days? Where all you can do is doubt everything? Well I am having one of those today. I spoke with my insurance company last night and they sent me information on what they require in order to approve the surgery. Then I started the "what if after all this, they still don't approve it?" questions.

Barely slept last night thinking about that. I have not really eaten anything because of it. I mean what if I go through all these steps, jump through all these hoops, get every test done, be ready to go, and then they say no. These are the thoughts that are haunting me now. I guess everyone feels this every once in a while. Maybe I am just over-reacting.

Saturday, December 6, 2008

The first Picks.

As promised I am adding 4 picks of me. These are the first pictures that I have voluntarily taken of myself in close to 20 years.

All About me

OK, I decided that if I want you to follow my journey, you should know a little about me. So here is comes.

I was born in Erie, PA (in the chimney of PA) which lays along the lake shore of Lake Erie. I have lived here almost all my life. I spend three years living in Charleston, WV while I was attending trade school and college. Growing up I had several friends who loved me for who I was, Emily, Shelly, Pat, and Mickey. They did not care what I looked like, they loved me for me.

High school to me was Hell. With a capital H. I did my best not to let the daily comments about my weight get to me, but let's just say Graduation was the happiest day of my life. I had my high school crushes, and kept them as quite as possible. I had a little larger expansion of friends, including those listed above, there was also Lynda, Barb, and Shawna. Believe me even then I was no social butterfly. I used to laugh when the boys (and sometimes the girls) would comment on my size, just to make them think it was not bothering me. IT DID.

After high school I moved to West Virginia to start school. While there I made a couple friends, but they were nothing like my core support of Emily, Shelly and Lynda. The only three that have actually stuck with me through thick and thin for all these years. I fell in love in West Virgina, and almost got married. But he cheated, I got hurt, and moved home.

After moving home, I started school at Penn State (Go Nittany Lions). Yes I am one of those obnoxious people who think Penn State is the only College Football team and Joe is the only College Football coach. While at Penn State, I became active with the newspaper and the radio station. I started to feel comfortable, because no one really commented on my weight or my size. People seemed to not really care. But I was always very self conscience of the fact that I was a very large woman. Especially those classes that were theater style and the desk folded into the chair. I could never get the desk to fold flat on my lap.

I graduated with decent grades, and a knowledge that there were people out there that looked deeper than just skin deep. I immediately went to graduate school instead of looking for a permanent job. I started to attend Edinboro University for my Master's degree. There I discovered I was wrong about people. Even though I had great grades, and was always very attentive in classes (graduated in the top 5% of my class), my instructors seemed to ignore me for the prettier students.

I even had a professor tell me that if I lost some weight I could go places in this world. Wow, I could not believe she said that. I took the next couple days to really re-evaluate my life. I have tried to lose weight. Then my dad died. Everything else seemed to not matter at all. He was my hero, the person I looked to to answer the tough questions.

This was 1996. My life changed that year in two ways, one I lost my hero, and two I almost lost my life. Yes, I did something stupid, and I have the scar to prove it. It is in the shape of a "Y". This way I will always look at my wrist and say "Why did you do that?"

Since then I have battled with my weight and struggled with my self-esteem. If you don't know me, you will find this typical. If you do know me, I bet this is a big shock. I know, I am a very good actress. I don't even have an ulcer. I deal with it with food, music, crafts, even photography. I have learned that I am good at certain things and use that talent for my justification.

Then Emily had Gastric By-Pass Surgery. Wow she looks fantastic. I think, "if she can do it, I can do it". So, yes my dad is my biggest hero, but my friend Emily is right up there with him. And now she is fighting something bigger and more dangerous than her weight, and she is more worried about seeing me through this. So here is my promise to her and to everyone. I will follow this all the way through, but I will also be there for every step of her journey, just like she is there for mine.

I promise to take pictures (as I said I am an amateur photographer) and post them here and on my Photobucket site: http://s306.photobucket.com/albums/nn250/ladyer1968/Me%20and%20My%20Tummy/

I am also going to track my weight loss on my MySpace page: http://www.myspace.com/erieladyer

Well now you know a little that makes me tick. Some of my hobbies are cross stitch, crocheting, knitting, computer work (I administer a Masonic fraternal website: www.supremeshrine.org). I also belong to several forums for one of my favorite TV shows: The Deadliest Catch. If you surf around, you will notice the ErieLady on the F/V Northwestern's site, the F/V North American's site, Capt. Phil Harris' site, the Deadliest Forums, and the Actuality Forum. Stop in and say hi.

I also love to read. History, crime, and Harry Potter. Sudoku is my favorite game, and I must say I am addicted to Peanut Butter Cups and diet Dr. Pepper. One of these I must give up forever. Emily has promised me they make Sugar Free Peanut Butter Cups, so I must try those.

Thank you all for listening to me ramble. I feel way better than I did this morning. Now, I still have all that reading to do. So I promise to let you all know what I learn with my reading.

Until then, "Keep looking toward the future, it is bound to be more surprising than the past"

Lori Anna

Friday, December 5, 2008

In the beginning

OK, so here it is. My blog tracking my journey with Bariatric Surgery. You know, Gastric By-Pass Surgery. I have been thinking about it for some time now, just never got around to it. Well I have started the ball rolling. After speaking with my physician, and her telling me I was a perfect candidate for the procedure, I decided to take the plunge.

I called and am getting the referral for my initial visit, and have a ton of reading to do. As of now, I am 5'7.5" and weight 305 lbs. My BMI is 47.1, that translates to grossly or morbidly obese. I am 40 years old, and this is the time I could be getting all those nasty illnesses related to being obese.

Now is the time to take action. So I am. Taking action that is. I hope to keep this blog going throughout my procedure, recovery and weight loss. So tune back in for more. For now, I have a tone of reading to do, as I stated earlier.